Geographically Challenged

A couple of days ago, I was expecting a delivery from an online retailer. This is usually a painless process because I live in Mumbai, a metro city, and the infrastructure is great in comparison to smaller cities.

So imagine my surprise when, after receiving several deliveries without an issue, I get a confused call from the courier:

[Warning: This post contains a great deal of transliterated Hindi, and local references to an area in Mumbai. A lot of the humour would get lost in translation.]

Him: “Madam, aapka ghar kahan hai?”
Me:Bhaiyaa, aap kahan ho?” *thinking I could direct him from there*
Him, after checking with a bystander: “Ruia College”
Me:Woh to Dadar station ke paas hai.”

Him, sounding utterly bemused:Achcha. Dadar station ke paas hai?”
Me:Haan. To aap char-rasta jante ho?”
Him: “Wadala-side, ya CST-side?”
Me: *seriously? ‘Matunga’ is WRITTEN on the package!* “King’s Circle ke taraf.”
Him: “Oh. Woh kahan hai?”
Me: “SNDT College maloom hai?”
Him:Nahi.”
Me: “Khalsa College?”
Him:Nahi.”
Me: “Gandhi Market?”
Him:Nahi.”
Me: “Don Bosco?”
Him:Nahi.”
Me: “Five Gardens?”
Him:Nahi.”

*pause*

Me, conversationally:Bhaiyya, aap courier kyun ban gaye?” [Unintentionally caused a colleague to spit out her drink in amusement.]

Him: “Madam, main Dadar ke office se aaya hun.”

Me:Aur aapko Dadar station maloom nahi nai? Waah bhaiyya, very impressive.”

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