Mistress of Mishaps

Just want to put on record that, this week alone, I have burned myself on an immersion heating rod, and stabbed myself with a diamond-dust bead reamer.

It would be a wonder that I reached the ripe old age of 32 without killing myself at all, if it weren’t for my poor mother for banning me from touching anything* till I was 15.

*Includes: fire, iron, toaster, microwave, electrical sockets, matches, lighters, computers, cars, grill, hobs, freezer, knives, needles, and so on.

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