Simmering Boil

I like to think of myself as a nice person. [Who doesn’t?] In fact, I have often been told that I tend to be a doormat sometimes, and I put up with a lot of crap from people. All of which is true. There are many reasons for my approach, but I won’t go into too much detail.

The first reason is that my inherent nature is timid and anti-confrontation. The second reason is that, to overcome my timidity in the past, I tended to overcompensate and be overtly aggressive. I overstepped too many boundaries, and lost relationships like that. [How many times did I use the prefix ‘over’ in those sentences?!] And finally, I hate jumping to conclusions too fast. I tend to be wrong, and while I I have no objection apologising, I feel like I could die of the resultant embarrassment.

Which is why, in a nutshell, I put up with crap. Ah, the fourth reason: ‘crap’ is a relative term. The definition varies from person to person, and honestly is difficult to pin down sometimes.

All of which has put me in a difficult spot. And because I have put up with this crap, as I define it, for so long, my reaction is likely to be explosive one of these days. Because I’ve really had enough.

There is this guy I met on Twitter, and we exchanged tweets back and forth, and he became an Internet friend. And then I made the cardinal mistake, something I should have learned not to do by now, of giving him my Whatsapp number.

Argh.

Of course, this has given him carte blanche to bombard me with messages EVERY SINGLE DAY. I mean, the occasional ‘Hi’ is fine, but honestly who has time to chat with someone every day? More importantly, why would you want to chat with an acquaintance every day?

Anyway, the deed is done, and I am bearing the brunt of it. He lives in another city, and he has come to mine a few times. Each time, it is because of work, so he is on a tight schedule and limited budget, and that means I have to drop everything and adjust to his schedule. Except. I haven’t done it. Not even once. I haven’t cancelled plans, have dug my heels in, and refused to adjust.

I was under the mistaken impression that this would rebuff him, and he would get the hint. But no. He continues to send me messages like these:

The last set is from his most recent trip. I mean, take a hint? Because I’ve finally had it. I spent the two days of his trip stressed out because I was afraid he would call, and I would have to make some lame excuse or actually go. This pressure to meet up and continuously chat has built up far too much, and I am just about ready to explode.

I really wish people would take hints and back off before I reach peak juggernaut. Because then I go full atomic bomb on their asses, and the fallout is awful. For everyone. [Except me, because I then feel profound relief.]

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