Thing I actually said to a guy I met off Tinder that proves I have no brain-to-mouth filter:
Very sweet Crossfit trainer, who I met that day for the FIRST time: “You should workout a little every day; it is an investment in your health.”
Me: “Come on now. I know you’re a trainer, but *I* don’t go around telling people to read a few pages of a book every day because it is an investment their vocabulary, just because I’m a writer!”
I will just quietly die of mortification in my corner now.