Cake/Grammar Nazi?

Note: I hate being called a grammar Nazi. Very simply because I am certainly not one. I do like correct grammar and sentence structure; yes, I am a writer by profession; but none of those factors makes me an infallible expert. I make mistakes in all honesty, out of ignorance, and I would prefer to be corrected with the intention to help, rather than the superciliousness of authority. End rant. Also, not the first time I have expressed this opinion.

Anyway. Kudos, self, for slipping into a tangent at the beginning of the post. Achievement unlocked.

ANYWAY.

There is a recurring theme amongst my friends from work, and that theme is cake. I don’t remember how it started, but I think I wound up taking about half a cake for a few people, and some of the others found out.

It was a breach in unofficial food protocol, because any food that is shared in the office must be announced via an email to everyone in the company. And when AP found out – he of the Delhi wedding fame of a few posts ago – he proceeded to drive me completely bonkers till I got him cake too.

Of course, this sort of harassment [ooh there is another post for this!] took a long time to fructify, because I was [and still am] a novice baker at the very best. But eventually I did cave, and took cake for the office, sending out that all-important email in the bargain.

That sealed my fate as the Cake Fairy. And other people were invited onto the harassment bandwagon, so I got asked for cake at least once a day thereafter.

Just to give you an idea: These were 3 different people. Annoying idiots, even though they are great really. Shh!

This trend has continued after I left ParserPile, and takes the form of occasional texts on Telegram or WhatsApp. Or comments on Facebook posts.

Cut to last year, and AP messaged me to invite me to his wedding. His one request? “Please bring cake with you.” And lest I weasel out and buy cake from an upscale bakery, the rider: “One that you baked!” was added shortly after.

Another friend and invitee pinged me closer to the wedding, to say: “AP ke shaadi mein toh cake banta hai!” which loosely translates to: “Cake is really a must for AP’s wedding!”

I didn’t agree, because I wasn’t sure of the time that it would take in addition my other commitments. But then I decided to do it. And:

Me: What is the ParserPile attendee headcount?
AP: 4 people for both days. 6 people for wedding day.
AP: That is minimum count. Should be a couple more, I think.
Me: So if I account for 8 people, I’m covered?
Me: Or 10 is better?
AP: Karishma, I am not able to process jokes at the moment. Are you saying that you have multiple personalities disorder?
Me: I’m not joking you idiot.
Me: I am calculating how much to bake. 🙄
AP: Ooooo
AP: You got to bake for at least 20
Me: 🖕🏽
AP: 19
Me: Keeping going and I’ll save myself the time and effort and bake for 0.
AP: Around 7-8 people after taking the margin.
AP: 8 should be good
Me: Thanks. 👍🏽

Sigh.

 

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