There were many occasions in ParserPile, where I found myself desperately biting my tongue to stop from laughing. This is one of them.
One fine day, I was working with one of the growth hackers. I didn’t think much of her intelligence or ability to do anything, but the founder thought she could sprout rainbows because she was formerly an engineer at Apple. And he was a worshipper of the deity, Steve Jobs, and Apple Inc. was essentially his idea of hallowed temple precincts. [I know enough about software and hardware engineering, and marketing, to realise that Apple is quite a lot of hype. They weren’t even the ones who first made smartphones; just the ones who first made smartphones sexy.]
Anyway, one evening, we had a meeting with the founder. Somehow, the two of them started talking about exercise and healthy eating. She was into fitness and ran marathons and did krav maga, but still was an idiot. He was a former fat person. I came into this meeting a little later, and had to immediately pull on the most wooden expression I could muster because:
She: “Eggs are a great source of protein, but <her husband> thinks they are non-vegetarian, so he doesn’t like me to eat them.”
He: “He *thinks* they are non-veg? They are, aren’t they?”
She: “Karishma told me they aren’t.”
Oh brother. Here we go.
Both swivel to look at me.
He: “Karishma! Aren’t eggs non-veg?”
Me: “Not all. It depends on their source. Typically, poultry farm eggs are unfertilised, so those are veg. Free range ones could potentially be non-veg, if a rooster is around.”
Laughter all around. Disbelieving laughter, I might add.
He: “That sounds crazy!”
She: “I know, right?!”
Me *sighs*: “A hen will lay an egg, regardless of whether a rooster has been around. That’s the way their reproductive system works.”
Minds blown. Jeez.
He: “Ok, so is that why brown eggs are healthier? Because they are fertilised?”
She: “Oh no, those are healthier because they are organic.”
Me *groans*: “Um no. Brown eggs are laid by brown-coloured hens, while white eggs are laid by white-coloured hens. They are nutritionally more or less the same. The difference in colour is due to the fact that they are laid by difference species of chickens.”
Utter silence. All this information is visibly swirling in their brains.
She *to him*: “Karishma reads a LOT.”
He *laughs*: “I’m going to call her the chicken expert from now on.”